Writing Panel (comedy)

My dear readers, I attended my very first writing panel event during the week. This was a big deal for me as it was the first time I was invited to anything in my capacity as a writer, that I hadn’t organized myself. Kind of like Mr. Bean getting a Christmas Card from somebody other than himself. It was titled “Pathways to Publishing” and it was run by Westmeath Arts Office.

So, last Thursday I trundled down to the library, not quite sure what to expect. When I was first invited, I thought that the other writers would be very low key, you know like myself. Then I heard that the writing God that is Patricia Gibney would be in attendance. So, this would be higher profile than I thought. She would obviously be the star and there would be myself and other low key writers at her alter.

But, I was wrong. There would be myself, Patricia Gibney and Anne Griffin who is the author of the Irish No. 1 bestseller ‘When All Is Said’. She also won the Newcomer of the Year Irish Book Awards 2019 and was longlisted for the Dublin Literary Award 2021. I was now a mere mortal between Gods.

In footballing terms I felt like a player from the Conference league in England getting to play on a team with Messi and Ronaldo.

I was pleased when my ebooks had two hundred free downloads during a week. Patricia Gibney has sold millions. Anne’s books have been translated into more languages than I have followers.

I brought along my books. They could easily find theirs stocked right there in the library.

But, as everybody knows I have a hard neck and was going to promote myself as best I could no matter what. I told the audience about why my novels were every bit the masterpieces.

A good crowd turned up may twelve to fifteen people. I was a bit surprised there wasn’t more given the names of the other two panel members. But those that did show up listened intently giving it an intimate atmosphere. The library should be a writers paradise, but I always envisaged writers meeting in a smoke filled place of debauchery. Maybe, it’s just me.

There were secondary school students a few meters away behind us wasting their youth studying. Surely, everybody their age knows about Netflix by now.

I learned a lot. The Gods write, then rewrite, then talk to lots of people and write some more. They are true professionals and at times it sounded like hard work. I have a day job for that sort of thing. I rarely rewrite things at all. My mind drifts onto other things, other projects.

They recommend that you submit your short stories to competitions, I’m all about building brand Mark.

I may never get to their heaven but I’m more than happy where I am. Here, with you my readers.

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