Tag: Herbert

The Vacuum Catastrophe – Part 2 (Sci-fi)

From the moment Lieutenant Candace Winchester opened her eyes, she had a strange feeling about the timeline in front of her. Not in a warp could she have guessed what was about to happen, just a general, malevolent feeling. Not that many would have listened to her. At just sixty years of age, she was considered far too young to know much about anything by most. At times, it felt that the gerontocracy would prefer no young people whatsoever but there was always new space that needed colonizing, and hence a need for new humans. Still, she had managed to excel, and was now in charge of her squadron.

She had never known her parents as was the case for most of her generation, and was birthed or manufactured biologically on one of the many space habitats in orbit around the Earth. The rest of the batch became her surrogate family. It was a joyous childhood but short. She matched that cohort of intelligence and athletic ability that was assigned to the military.

This ultimately led her to being assigned to the Danu just a few months prior. She remembered the first time she took sight of it. It was giant, majestic with the large circular warp engine far off in the distance to the rear. However, nothing could have prepared her for the inside of the ship. Despite having a crew of over one thousand, one could walk its corridors and chambers for hours without meeting another soul. Parts of it were barren and cold, other parts luxurious with every conceivable manner of entertainment. At times, she would love to lose herself in one of the many virtual worlds.

Her squadron had only been informed of its mission two hours previously. To extract Dr. Lenz from the nearest star-base and to expect trouble. It was a high priority mission and space marines were to be fully armed. This was all very strange to her considering it was a friendly vessel.

However on disembarking from the Supply Vessel – nicknamed Maria and onto the floor of the Space Port, she was sure happy they came prepared. There were screams far off in the distance and the air smelt rotten.

Then she saw a man running towards her with a brief case. He was lean, athletic with blonde hair and shouting “Lt. Winchester!”.

“Dr. Lenz? Where is your security detail?”

“Long story, here is my ID. We better be off!’

The Vacuum Catastrophe – Part 1 (Sci-fi)

It had been going just like any other time cycle but it was one that Herbert would end up never forgetting. It was on Star Base 1580, which at that time was on a wide orbit of the dwarf planet Pluto and its moon Charon. He had spent many hours peering through his telescope at the beautiful white landscapes and the majestic cities that peppered them. He had always intended to visit and had always presumed that he would at some future date. Time had never entered his mind as being some sort of problem. He was already over four hundred years old and the horde of nanobots coursing through his veins should keep him going for many more years. And to worry about existence itself, well that would have just been daft.

Herbert was an expert in the field of negative energy. At times he had to pinch himself. Only two-hundred years prior the thought of a human being an expert in any field would have seemed totally ridiculous. But a small droid rebellion in a simulated world changed everything. The consciousness never realized that it could simply be plugged out. After that, a cap was placed on machine intelligence. Then, shortly afterwards with the invention of warp technology, that required negative energy, his field exploded in status.

Herbert was walking through the main corridor when he heard a familiar ping in his trouser pocket. It was bustling with people going to their work stations and just hanging around in conversation. He lifted it up to see where he was required – Epson Suite 16. The other end of the station. Now that was unusual and he quickly broke into a brisk walk.

His mind raced with what it could be about. As far as he could determine production was on track. He got on an empty rail-car to hurry himself along. It wouldn’t do to be late and anyway it gave him a chance to look up at the stars.

He heard his name being called just as he got out of the rail-car.

“Herbert Lenz?”

Much to his surprise, it was a soldier that was looking for him. His palm grew sweaty.

“Yes?”

“Please follow me.”

A few minutes later, he was led into a side room filled with generals and the civilian leaders of that space quadrant, all sitting in a semi circle. Fear and dismay were etched into their faces.

“Please sit down.”

The room fell silent. It is was President Azin. She had short, grey hair something very unusual in these times. The atmosphere was tense.

“Do you know who I am?”

Her voice was both piercing and authoritative.

With so many colonies and different tiers of government, most might not even recognise her but Herbert always made sure to stay on top of such things.

“There isn’t much time so I’m going to get straight to the point. You’re a learned man so you will probably understand this better than me. During the twenty-first century it was discovered that the Higgs field was at a point of instability, and what we considered to be The Universe was in the state of a false vacuum. Therefore, a quantum tunneling event, though thought to be very unlikely could bring the Universe into a new quantum state. It was thought that this would spread at the speed of light destroying everything it reached,

We were wrong.”

“Wrong?”

Herbert was unsure where this was going and why The President would want to discuss Science with him.

“Wrong.”

A holographic display of the Milky Way galaxy appeared over the table.” Yes, we were wrong. The effect is spreading far faster than the speed of light but not exponentially. Unfortunately, it has happened right in our galaxy. An expanding red circular area suddenly appeared and began to spread outwards.

There is only one hope for humanity – the spaceship Danu. Due to the accelerating expansion of the Universe, if you get far enough away humanity will be saved. You are to join the crew in Space Port One in six hours. Your expertise will be required. Now go, there isn’t much time.

With that, Herbert rose from his seat almost knocking it over in the process.

My friend Herbert Part III

He had always been there, rarely moving more than 30 centimeters and that was just for food. Quite the lazy spider really, did feck all and that’s saying something coming from me. He must have been on the spider equivalent of being on the dole. In that one spot, right over my head. Till he wasn’t. I looked everywhere like up, down, left and right. But nope, he is gone. Just like that, no goodbyes or thanks for the memories.

It can only be work of the the evil (creative license) Mr. R (no breaches of GDPR on my website). My mother hasn’t been near the place. Perhaps, it was jealousy or just basic hygiene, but poor Herbert and his dirty web are gone. Oh how I cried, well there was one tear anyway although that could have been the bit of hair that got stuck in my eye.

We hadn’t really been getting along recently. As I’ve been saying he never put much effort into our friendship. It was like I was just more furniture to him. Hopefully the passing was fast, like with a hoover or something and not what my little brother used to do to spiders..

Revenge will be swift but what to do? Put salt in his tea, “accidentally” drive over his toes. I need plausible deniability. Well, at least I now have plenty of time on my own to contemplate. Hours and hours of just me in this little room, looking left, looking right.

Wait! What’s that I see? It’s too big and furry to be a spider.. I wonder what’s its name?

My friend Herbert Part II

I’m not quite sure me and Herbert the spider are still the best of buddies. Just a sense I’m getting. It was all going so well – working from home, chatting to Herbert. Me telling him all my problems, him listening to me hopefully. That’s if he can hear at all.

But lately, he’s being getting on my nerves. Like all he does is just sit there, never moving – just hoping some fly will come along out of nowhere. I left all the windows and doors open for ages but to no avail. It would want to be a fairly thick or suicidal fly to be honest. I did see him eating something once, but it didn’t look the best and that’s saying something. I’ve been telling him his web really isn’t in the best of spots and could he not put some effort in and move to a better location with more potential. Using all the key buzzwords that we use nowadays but nada, nothing. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t like bees.

I tell Herbert that David Attenborough would not be impressed. That if we made a documentary about him and his exploits nobody would care if spiders were going extinct. Maybe I’m too harsh. I’m thinking he might be gone into hibernation or maybe he’s dead. Maybe he thinks the same about me. Why is this silly human stuck in this little room doing fuck all? Why does he just sit there? He wouldn’t understand about the internet and stuff and how I’m actually very busy and living this great life.

In any event, his little area is now in a special area of conservative of sorts. I told him he will be fine and live to a ripe old age, unless my mother calls. Then only God can save him. Even in this modern age of gay marriage, changing sex etc, I don’t think there is a place in her heart for the friendship between a man and a spider. All she will see is a dirty web. I told him not worry, his progeny will always return.

My new friend Herbert (comedy)

Well I guess just like everyone else during these times of covid, it’s very difficult to make new friends. The world has become a much smaller place. That’s why I think it should be celebrated when you do. Me and Herbert have so many things in common.

  • we more or less live in the same place, except he lives a little higher off the ground. He can easily see me at my workstation below him and I just have to look up to see him.
  • we both like our food albeit different types in fairness.
  • outside could be potentially hazardous for us both.

But, there are things that set us apart –

I have only two legs but he has eight.

I seem to be the more energetic one, which quite frankly doesn’t say much for him. He seems to sit for hours without moving. Quite impressive in my eyes.

What I really like about Herbert is that he’s always there to listen and never interrupts me. What more could I ask for?

Yes, I think we’ll be bff till one of my PAs hoovers him up.